Posted by: Roger Massey
11/19/2003 1:45:03 PM

Edmund Clerihew Bentley invented a type of biographical poetry called the clerihew. It is a light verse quatrain that rhymes aabb, with the person named in the first line. An example:

The people of Spain think Cervantes
Equal to half-a-dozen Dantes:
An opinion resented most bitterly
By the people of Italy

Here’s another one.

George the Third
Ought never to have occurred
One can only wonder
At so grotesque a blunder

If you would like to read more, get The Complete Clerihews of E. Clerihew Bentley.

Here’s a challenge. Write a clerihew about any person currently in the news —George Bush, Saddam Hussein, Barry Bonds, anyone.


Posted by: Roger Massey
11/20/2003 7:48:43 AM

OK, here's one I came up with last night, but I can't really take any credit. It's so obvious that it pretty much wrote itself.

The problem with Al Gore
Is that he's an incredible bore
Fortunately this was detected
Before he was elected


Posted by: Craig Todd
11/20/2003 8:47:22 AM

Your picture of Al Gore is not quite sufficient
In many other ways is he also deficient
He certainly is one dull clown
That's why I cast my vote for Harry Brown


Posted by: Roger Massey
11/20/2003 9:04:15 AM

On the other hand George Bush
Needs a swift kick in the tush
While he's far more moral than Bill
His spending is making me ill


Posted by: Craig Todd
11/20/2003 9:18:49 AM

Barry Bonds is most certainly great
Nevertheless, much too high does he rate
After all, with a strike zone the size of a pea
Even Mendoza could hit one into the sea


Posted by: Craig Todd
11/20/2003 9:25:05 AM

Oh how I still wish that that bum Steve Garvey
Would get stomped by that giant rabbit Harvey
I know, I know, it's only a game
But since October '84 I get ill at the sound of his name.


Posted by: Linda Weddle
11/20/2003 9:25:30 AM

Please NO more headlines about Prince Charles
His life is so very much tangled in snarls
So Prince, just go live out there in the hills.
But not with Camille.


Posted by: Craig Todd
11/20/2003 9:42:36 AM

Jim Matheson is a Cardinal fan most zealous
The Chicago nine in 2003 did make him jealous
But with a name like Son of Bear
He should hold those lovable Cubs more dear.


Posted by: Linda Weddle
11/20/2003 10:49:54 AM

If I wrote a clerihew about Dr. Seuss,
I could use words like meuss, beussduess and geuss.
Because Dr. Seuss words make no sense,
Terpense, senfence, rhym-enze.


Posted by: Craig Todd
11/20/2003 11:20:17 AM

Do not the follow the Clerihew examples of me, Craig Todd
Inadvertently mine came out a bit odd
My little rhymes have need for a mend
The person you name must be named at line's end.


Posted by: Jeff Weddle
11/20/2003 11:21:02 AM

For three years the MVP has been barry Bonds
because he hits home runs into great big ponds.
You can't deny his strong ethic of work
or the fact that he's still a big jerk.


Posted by: Jeff Weddle
11/20/2003 11:22:31 AM

The hounds are after Rush Limbaugh
and how much money for pills he did withdraw.
Although I forgive the Maha Rushi
He's probably still sipping a pill laced slushee.


Posted by:
Jeff Weddle
11/20/2003 11:28:19 AM

They're investigating Michael Jackson
and the ranch he has yaks on.
What they'll find, no one knows
I just hope he finds his nose.


Posted by: Jeff Weddle
11/20/2003 11:32:57 AM

We all feel sorry for poor Martha Stewart
and her illegal, finely crafted new art.
She's made some money and is out on bail
and it's only because she's just a gal.


Posted by: Linda Weddle
11/20/2003 7:53:09 PM

Now there's the well-known poet e.e.cummings.
As a copy editor - He's not in the running.
But a poem or two are really quite applicable.
To cause exclamation! That idea is just CAPITAL!


Posted by: Tim Rathjen
12/23/2003 12:03:17 PM

Ok, so this one isn't about a person, and they may not have made news nationally, still:

Have you seen Grus Americana
Though I haven't, I still wanna
Flying to Florida behind a small plane
On the comeback, since so many were slain