Random Thoughts While Attending a Mozart Festival

Before the concert started, the orchestra members sat on the stage tuning their instruments. When 3:00 arrived, the first violin came out and took a bow. Then one of the bassoon players played a note and everybody pretended to tune their instruments again. What had they been doing for the previous 20 minutes? Did they get it wrong the first time?

After the first song, the entire orchestra stood up and bowed. I thought the concert was over, but, alas … The conductor walked off the stage, then immediately turned around and walked back on to more applause. I suppose this sort of thing is s.o.p. for classical music concerts, but I still think it’s a bit silly.

I couldn’t help thinking the whole thing would have been more enjoyable if they served peanuts and let us throw the shells on the floor.

What happens if a violin string breaks during a performance?

The only people who stood the entire time were the conductor, the bass player and some guy in the row behind us who looked like Carl Reiner, but wasn’t.

One of the viola players had her purse under her chair. What’s up with that?

From listening to his music, I got the distinct impression that Mozart enjoyed life. Beethoven, on the other hand, wrote like he had a headache and wanted to share it.

When we got out of the car to enter the theater, the Cubs had just scored two runs in the top of the seventh to tie the Florida Marlins 2-2. There was one out, with runners on second and third. And this you won’t believe — NOT ONCE during the entire concert did they give us an update on the game!

Why do men in an orchestra all have to wear identical tuxedos, but the women just have to wear “something black”?

The highlight of the concert, for me anyway, was when the bass player accidentally smacked his bow against his music stand in the middle of the conductor’s violin solo.

I think the cello is a decidedly un-ladylike instrument to play.

I decided there are three types of music in my world.

  1. The good stuff — stuff you can whistle and tap the steering wheel to.
  2. Some quieter stuff that I get in the mood for once in a while when I’m relaxed and tired.
  3. Everything else.

This concert consisted entirely of types two and three.

The stage was raised so that the people sitting in the front row were exactly at the level of the performer’s shoes. That must be an interesting perspective.

Why don’t they have electronic easels that display the music on screens so performers don’t have to turn pages when they need to or worry about breezes turning them when they don’t? (And if this is an original idea and somebody takes it and makes a ton of money from it, I want my share.)

I’m pretty sure the percussionist fell asleep during the encore solo. I might have done so myself, I’m not sure.

After the concert, the conductor kissed the first violin (a woman) shook hands with the second violin (a man) kissed and hugged the third violin (another woman), ignored the fourth violin (a woman), ignored all three viola players, shook hands with the first cellist (a man) and kissed the second cellist (another man). I couldn’t help wondering what determined kiss, hug, handshake or ignore. (Although, in the case of the hug of the third violin, looks could have been a factor.)

With that crowd, and those stairs, I’m glad there wasn’t a fire.

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3 Responses to Random Thoughts While Attending a Mozart Festival

  1. jeff says:

    the first few orchestra concerts in history allowed men to “wear something black,” but it just got too carried away.

  2. kelli says:

    They are not necessarily tuning in those twenty minutes. You’re just sitting waiting for it to start and going over the hard parts or warming up. clarinet and oboes, etc, that use reeds have to warm them up.

    Also – Harry Connick Jr invented a computer program that you’re talking about -where the music is displayed on a computer screen in front of you and you don’t have to turn pages.

  3. james says:

    How do you know that the bow/stand smack wasn’t written in the music score? That Mozart was such a card.

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