At this time, sir, I would like to scream

For the past week, I've been receiving spamming text messages on my cell phone, all from the same number. Some of them have been crude — all of them have been annoying.

I called the phone company to ask if I could block a specific number. I was told no, but I could change my phone number. That's a pain, but since 60% of the calls I've received on this phone have been wrong numbers or spam, I decided to switch.

The guy I talked with was competent, but it was a strange 10 minutes. Here's what his side of the conversation sounded like:

"At this time, sir, I would like to ask you if you would like a new phone number."

"At this time, sir, I would like to ask you for the address where you would like your new card shipped."

"At this time, sir, I would like to ask you to hold while I process this information."

"At this time, sir, I would like to ask you to be patient while I continue to process this information."

"I am still processing this information, sir. I would like to ask you to continue to be patient."

And so it went — on and on and on. At one point he actually said:

"At this point, sir, I would like to ask you to get what is commonly called a pen and a piece of paper."