Invisible Fence

Friday, July 3 — My nephew and I went to one of those huge franchise home-improvement supply stores and purchased the material we needed to fix my backyard fence which was in danger of complete collapse. We picked a style of picket that looked a lot like the pickets on my existing fence. (At that point, I was still planning on replacing only the worst parts. Once we began working on the fence, I saw how badly the entire thing needed replacing.)

Tuesday, July 7 — We were making good progress on the fence and needed more supplies. There were only a few packs of pickets on the skid at the store, so I tracked down an unenthusiastic employee and asked if there was another skid in storage. He looked on the computer and informed me that I had chosen a style that was being discontinued. No more were on hand or would be coming — ever. He looked at another branch in a nearby town and saw that they had 150 remaining in stock. That wasn’t nearly enough. I explained that I’d already started building the fence and needed more of the same style. He said I could special order them. I did some quick calculations and determined how many I needed. He placed the order and said that they’d send me a postcard when they arrived but it probably wouldn’t be until the end of the following week. I asked if he could give me a call when they came in. He said no. They don’t make phone calls.

Friday, July 17 — It was now Friday of the following week. I drove to the store and showed my order form to a different guy. He looked on the computer and told me the order had never been placed. He said, “Did you pay for these?” I said no, I thought I was supposed to pay on delivery. He said no, they didn’t do special orders unless the customer pays in advance. I expressed a wish that the guy had told me that on the 7th. He was very understanding. He said he could reorder the pickets but as it was 4:30 on Friday, it was too late to call the order in. He promised to do it first thing on Monday, put a rush on it and call me to let me know when the order was in.

Monday, July 20 — No phone call.

Tuesday, July 21 — I called and talked with an uninterested employee. I said, “I was expecting to receive a phone call about a special order for fence pickets. I want to make sure the order was placed and find out when they are expected to arrive.” The guy replied, “We never make phone calls, we just send postcards. The order should be here on Friday.”

Saturday, July 25 — I called and talked with an apathetic employee. I asked if the order was in. He said yes and then made a snide remark about the unusual number of pickets I’d ordered. I drove to the store and went in the special-order-pick-up door. A employee with an accent I couldn’t understand walked slowly over to me. I gave him my order and he slowly wandered around the area. He kept studying the labels on skids that were obviously not fence pickets — counter tops, pre-hung doors, etc. Then he disappeared. Another employee wandered into the area and proceeded to help another customer unload a pickup truck full of metal cabinets. When this job was finally done, he strolled up to me, pulled my order form out of his pocket and asked, “Are you the fence pickets?” I said that I was. He said that evidently my special order hadn’t yet arrived. I explained that I’d called ahead and was told that the order was here. He got on a phone and chatted for another 10 minutes, then wandered back over to say, “I’m not sure who you talked with. It might have been Tom, but he’s not here anymore. I don’t know how he got the idea that your order is here, but it isn’t.”

And then he said, “I’ll make sure to tell them to call you when it arrives.”

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White Castle

We successfully connected my niece with her relatives and took off for the long drive back home. When we got to Lafayette, I pulled off I-65 for gas. It was only 4:30, but my daughter said she was hungry. I really didn’t want to stop again. There was a White Castle next to the gas station. I couldn’t remember ever having eaten at a White Castle, so I thought it was a good chance for a new experience. I suggested it to my daughter. She replied, “That’s fine. It’s food.”

Four words, but it’s amazing just how wrong they were.

We each got the two cheeseburger (cheeseslider?) deal with fries and a drink. I carried the food out to the car and opened the bag. My first thought was that the real cheeseburger looked a whole lot different than the photo on the sign inside.

I took it out of its tiny box. It looked gray. It felt soggy. The bottom bun was mushy, like it had been sitting in warm water for an hour or so. I braced myself and took a bite. It tasted gray and soggy. Even the tiny slice of pickle was soggy. My daughter and I both had a tough time getting them down and we both felt rather ill afterwards.

White Castles have been around for 88 years. I find it difficult to believe anyone has ever gone back for a second visit. Is it possible they’ve survived that long on first-time customers only? I will forevermore refer to White Castle as “Home of the moist buns.”

We got back on the interstate and soon ran into the perpetual traffic jam on northbound I-65. We were stuck in stop-and-go (mostly stop) mode for the better part of an hour with no end in sight. We weren’t the only ones frustrated. Here’s a shot my daughter took of the passenger in the next car.

I took the first chance I had to exit. I cut west on side roads to I-57 and then headed north again. There’s no way to know if this was faster or not, but it did get us out of Indiana earlier, allowed us to avoid that nightmare known as I-80-94 and got us moving.

We found ways to entertain ourselves on the way. Some local radio station that we happened upon had a promo for a “rubber ducky derby.” I challenged my daughter to say it three times fast. She tried maybe 50 times, but I don’t think she ever accomplished it.

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Dog n Suds — Indianapolis, Indiana

The Indianapolis Dog n Suds is a summer-only food stand in the Indianapolis Zoo. I visited in July, 2009 with my daughter and niece. We had to pay $5 for parking and $14 admission (each) just to get to the stand to buy lunch. Imagine our disappointment when we discovered they didn’t sell corn dogs. (Signs on the windows said they didn’t offer straws or lids for the protection of the animals, so I’m guessing corn dog sticks are also outlawed.)

I went with a foot-long hot dog (which was mediocre), onion rings and root beer (both of which were tasty). But unless you’re on a quest to visit all the remaining Dog n Suds, or happen to find yourself inside the Indianapolis Zoo, I wouldn’t recommend this one.

A new Dog n Suds just opened as a food stand inside the Indiana Beach amusement park. If I decide to go to that one, I’ll have to pay parking and admission fees again. After the zoo experience, I’m seriously considering limiting my visits to the traditional drive-in locations.

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Indianapolis Zoo

I took my daughter and my niece to the Indianapolis Zoo.

Why the zoo? Because one of the summer food stands in the zoo is a Dog n Suds. More on that in another post.

The zoo was expensive — $14 each to get in and another $5 per car to park. And there wasn’t much to it. We were sorry to see that we had just missed Elephant Awareness Week, but before the day was over, we became aware of three or four of them.

To see the few animals, we had to fight through throngs of kids on day camp field trips and find our way around merry-go-rounds and roller coasters. It wasn’t until we got to the marine animal area that we saw anything very impressive. They had an underwater dome in the dolphin tank. We hung around there for a while and saw the dolphins jump a couple times.

walrus

This was funny. There were several sea lions and seals in the same tank. We were watching through the underwater window as they swam their laps in a figure-eight pattern. One of the seals was heading across when a sea lion swam right in front of it. The seal bumped right into the larger animal. The photo below is another near-collision that took place a couple minutes later. In this case, the seal just had to suddenly veer up to avoid the sea lion.

Seal lion (left) and seal (right)

The penguin room had a see-through floor through which we could watch them swimming back and forth. One exhibit that sounded a lot more exciting than it turned out to be was the shark-touch pool. About 50 small sand sharks were cruising back and forth in a shallow tank. I bent over to touch one and promptly dipped my camera case in the water. My camera wasn’t in it at the time. The shark felt slimy.

Next to but separate from the zoo (but part of the zoo admission fee) was a butterfly conservatory. There were hundreds of exotic butterflies flitting around, and we took our time enjoying and photographing them, but none of them landed on us.

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Great Painting #7 — A Lady with a Squirrel and a Starling

Hans Holbein the Younger was born in Augsburg, Bavaria in 1497. His father, Hans Holbein the Elder was also a painter and raises the question — Was there a third Hans Holbein, and was he known as Hans Holbein the Even Younger Yet?

Hans traveled to Switzerland and became a friend of the Dutch humanist Erasmus, who asked him to illustrate one of his books. Hans also illustrated Martin Luther’s German Bible translation. Because of the unrest caused by the Reformation, Hans went to London where he met Sir Thomas More. It was during this trip that he painted A Lady with a Squirrel and a Starling. (He returned to England later on and became the court painter for King Henry VIII.)

The lady in the painting is thought to be one Anne Lovell — because squirrels were featured on the Lovell family coat of arms and because the Lovells owned a house in East Harling, in Norfolk, England. (Harling/starling is somewhat of a reach, but at least he didn’t paint her hurling.) But on the other hand, Holbein painted animals into many of his portraits, so nobody knows for sure. It’s pretty certain that the woman didn’t pose with the animals. They were painted in later. At least one reviewer thinks the hands look masculine and belong to an assistant that posed later.

The pose, with the woman impassively looking away from the viewer, is typical of Holbein’s work at this time. The notable feature of the piece, however, is the skillful painting of so many different textures — the fur on the cap, the cloth on the shawl, the cambric at her throat, the feathers of the starling, the fur of the squirrel.

I’m also told to notice the way the curl of the squirrel’s tail mirrors the curl of the plant in the background, but I’m not learned enough at this point to understand why that’s notable. Does it have something to do with curling?

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