Listing Through Life

What Kind of Idiot … ?

Posted on June 24, 2009 by Roger

When the puddles on the shelves got deep enough to float the milk cartons, we decided it was time to get a new fridge.

It was delivered on Monday afternoon. The guy came in to remove our old fridge, but first he had to disconnect the hose for the ice maker. He asked me to turn off the water. I went downstairs and turned the faucet and went back up to the kitchen. He twisted the hose and water started spraying around the room. He quickly kinked the hose and looked at me. I went back downstairs and looked for another faucet. I found one and turned turned it. I went back to the kitchen. The guy let the kink out of the hose and water started pouring out. He looked at me. He didn’t say anything, but I could read his mind. He was thinking, What kind of idiot doesn’t know how to turn off his own water?

He kinked the hose again and I twisted a strip of duct tape around it. He took the old fridge out and brought the new fridge in. He hooked up the hose and took off the tape and pushed the fridge back into its spot. It ran into the cabinet. Yes, the fridge was this much too tall for the space. The guy looked at me again. He didn’t say anything, but I could read his mind again. He was thinking, What kind of idiot doesn’t measure the space before buying a new fridge?

I told him I’d take care of it. He left. I went downstairs and turned the two faucets back to their original positions, just in case they actually did something. Then I grabbed my little square vibrating sander and started sanding the underside of the cabinet. After 20 minutes with no discernible progress I began to think, What kind of idiot tries to remove a quarter inch of solid oak with a little square vibrating sander?

I grabbed a screwdriver and took the cabinet off the wall and pushed the fridge back into its space. When my wife got home, I made a halfhearted attempt to convince her that we, with a little spackle and paint, could cover up the holes and do without the cabinet. She disagreed, and even I’m not the kind of idiot who argues with a woman about kitchen decor.

I called a friend who owns a contracting business and asked for help. After work on Tuesday, I drove to his house with the cabinet. In about 15 minutes, he’d cut off a quarter inch and sanded it smooth. I took the cabinet home, pulled out the fridge, fastened the cabinet to the wall and pushed the fridge back. Problem solved.

But this brought another question to my mind. What kind of idiot would choose me for a friend? I have no practical skills. But I’ve always been good at making friends with useful abilities. Over the years, they’ve helped me with plumbing and electrical work and carpentry and computer problems. But although I would be willing, not once has one of those friends called me in return and said, “Hey, Rog, could you help me out? I need you to write something for me.”

Posted in Stories | 1 Comment

Boy, Those Carnival Rides Go Fast!

Posted on June 20, 2009 by Roger

I wandered about the Cary Days carnival for an hour or so taking time-lapse photos of the rides. Here are the best.

Posted in Photos | 2 Comments

What’s the Picture For?

Posted on June 20, 2009 by Roger

Before you read this post, you need to read this post.

I returned to the annual carnival and saw the same booth as last year. I was glad to see they still sell Cheesburgers, but the Sandwhiches are gone. Before I made my selection, I took this photo.

June 20, 2009

Just like last year, a woman in back of the booth saw me and, with a very stern look on her face, said, “What’s the picture for?”

I smiled my very nicest smile and said, “Every year I come and try something new.”

Her face lit up as she said, “You were here last year!”

“Yes I was,” I replied.

She said, “I have the fried pickles I told you about. Do you want to try them.”

I was amazed that she’d remembered our entire conversation. I told her I’d like to try the pickles. She said, “They’re on me.” She went into the cooking area and prepared them for me herself.

She handed them to me and said, “Here ya go, Sweetie. Let me know what you think.”

They were very tangy but tasty, and the ranch dressing was a good addition. When I was done, I went back to the booth and thanked the woman again and told her the pickles were very good.

Stay tuned for next year. I still haven’t tried their Oreos, Reeses, Milky Ways or “fun shaped” chicken tenders.

Posted in Humor | 3 Comments

1952 Hudson Hornet

Posted on June 17, 2009 by Roger

I’m posting this based on the theory that if I find it interesting, you’ll find it interesting. And let me state that I know nothing about cars, old or otherwise, except what I need to know to drive one. (Oh, yea, I can change a tire and check the oil too.)

My town has Cruise Nights every Wednesday during the summer. Each Wednesday has a theme, but for the most part, people just bring whatever they want. I wander down a couple times each year to see what’s there because, although I know nothing about old cars, I think they’re beautiful.

This one caught my eye — it’s a 1952 Hudson Hornet.

The Hudson Motor Car Company sold Hornets from 1951 to 1954. (In 1955, Hudson merged with Nash and became American Motors which built cars with the Hornet name for a few more years.) The car was unusual because the floor was positioned between frame rails so passengers had to “step down” to get in. This gave it a low center of gravity that made it good for racing.