Listing Through Life

I received a piece of junk mail awhile back. On the envelope it said, “Do not open until you’ve read the enclosed letter.”

I haven’t.

Just for fun, I took yesterday’s post and had Google Translator translate it from English to Vietnamese to French to Arabic to Norwegian to Hindi to English. Here it is:

Increased ever hear is not it? I agree that when you exercise Downmanship welcome foreigners. (I think I know people can not do that to — if you, please notify me).

I rarely start a greeting. Instead, it is open and one eye to face — If you are interested in giving me one that will get a message to show.

When someone says: “Are you okay?” I ‘hello’ is called.

If you have any “Hello” and “say hello” says.

If someone you “Hello” and to stop saying that the “o”.

If a “Hey, you say, I recorded a smile.

If people smile, and I approve of rolling your eyes a little while to show the approval of the half to give, I feel that I really feel it.

If an approval of the second half of the offer, out of the corners of my mouth with a smile on a full leave.

Perhaps this is why, when my people, I think we often do not know sorta explains two of them for us in the face with a widower.

I think that none of it is — as it is celebrated in the past few months.

You’ve heard of one-upmanship, right? I just realized that I practice one-downmanship when I greet strangers. (I don’t think I do this with people I know — if I do, you can let me know.)

I rarely initiate a greeting. Instead, I make eye-contact with a somewhat-open expression on my face to indicate that I’m willing to receive a greeting if the person is interested in giving me one.

If the other person says “How ya doing?” I say “Hello.”

If the other person says “Hello” I say “Hi.”

If the other person says “Hi” I say a clipped-off “Hey.”

If the other person says “Hey” I nod and smile.

If the other person smiles, I give a half-nod while simultaneously rolling my eyeballs upward a little bit to make it appear that I’m nodding more than I really am.

If the other person gives a half-nod, I allow the barest touch of a smile reach the outer corners of my mouth.

This probably explains why, when I pass people I don’t know, we frequently both sorta stare at each other with semi-maniacal looks on our faces.

I don’t do any of this this intentionally — it’s just something I observed about myself in recent months.