Listing Through Life

On the radio recently, I head a woman say, “If I had a penny for every time I had to pay a late fee for a movie rental, I could pay all my late fees.” Ummm … Yea — if all your late fees were a penny.

I’m currently rereading Patrick O’Brian’s excellent series of historical novels.They’re fascinating and educational. For instance, I learned the difference between insidious (beguiling but harmful) and invidious (containing or implying a slight; showing prejudice).

Women, when surveyed, say the fashion faux pas they most frequently see men commit is wearing pants that are too short.

From a T-shirt: There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

Know what the words mean.

Simplistic (adjective):

1. Overly simple.
2. In a manner that simplifies the issue to a degree where many important details are lost.
3. Not complex; simple; usually an insult.

This bridal boutique in downtown Fox River Grove lasted perhaps eight months before going out of business. I wonder why?

Years ago, on a blog far, far away, I wrote the following post:

I discovered these words of wisdom on Dove Chocolate wrappers.

It struck me that somebody is getting paid for coming up with these ideas. I decided to write some of my own.

• Don’t stare at the sun.
• Remove your shoelaces.
• Walk your neighbor’ dog.
• Put your hat in the freezer.
• Vacuum your couch at midnight.

So much for my original post. Recently I grabbed a heart-shaped piece of Dove Chocolate from a candy bowl at work and discovered what must be the most stupid message yet. Imagine receiving a candy heart from someone you care about and finding this message:

Actual statements written on doctrinal statement by missionary candidates.

• In the Old Testament, God is described as a God of mercy and a God of refuse.

• (In response to a request to describe what he believes about the last days, including the rapture and second coming of Christ) The last days refer to the days prior to the end of any period of time. The last days of this world will not include me; I will be ruptured long before the last days of this world.

• Grace is unfavored merit. (I always thought it was unmerited favor!)

• God the Son was with God in the very Begging.

• I believe that God is ordaining imminence every moment because nothing is ever the same.

I heard on the radio recently that 60% of all working women admit to having called in sick for a bad hair day.