Listing Through Life

Saturday night was great. I stayed up until 11:00 reading and still got eight hours of sleep before I had to get up at 6:00 to get ready for church. It was so great, in fact, that I’ve developed a plan to make it a daily occurrence.

It’s simple. Every night at 2:00 am, we set the clocks back an hour. This will enable us to stay up later and still get a good night’s sleep.

“Won’t work,” you say? “Time will get all fouled up and soon we’ll be going to bed at noon and it will snow on the Fourth of July!”

Nonsense. We simply set our clocks forward an hour each afternoon to compensate — say between 3:00 and 4:00 when everyone is beginning to wonder if the work day will ever end. It will be wonderful. You’ll be sitting there staring at your clock, dreading the next hour when suddenly it will be 4:00 and you can start cleaning your desk and getting ready to head home.

It’s a perfect plan.

Thank you.

I heard on the radio this morning about a survey. A group of women were asked what phrase they most hate to hear from a man.

Take a guess what it is, then check the first comment to see if you're correct.

My wife and I took my Mom to Red Lobster for her birthday. Mom was giving me directions, and she told me I needed to get over into the right-hand lane. Traffic was heavy, and the small window of opportunity was closing quickly. The problem was — I was in the middle of an intersection, and in Illinois, changing lanes in an intersection is illegal. (This is a law that is either unknown or ignored by every other driver in the state.)

So I was faced with a quandary … Do I obey the law? Or do I obey my mother?

Before you answer, keep in mind that there were no police officers in the car with me. My mother was, and she was pointing with emphasis.