Remember the old days when you could push a button by mistake and nobody would know?

My car is 15 years old. It still has switches and cranks. There are no buttons on the dashboard except on the CD player, and most of those don’t work.

When I was in Portland recently, my rent-a-car was a new Chevy Cobalt in an obnoxious shade of yellow that doesn’t exist in nature (and shouldn’t exist out of it). There were ten buttons (I’m not kidding — I counted them) on the steering wheel alone.

My sister and I were cruising down a remote mountain road somewhere near Mount Hood when I accidentally pushed one of the buttons — I have no idea which one.

Suddenly the disembodied voice of a woman was talking to me. “You’ve contacted Onstar. How can we help you?” It was so startling that I didn’t know what to say. I made some comment, and the voice said, “Repeat.” I said something to my sister, and the voice said “Repeat.”

My sister said, “Ask how to turn it off.” The voice said, “Talk slowly please.”

I said, “How do I turn it off.” The voice said, “Pardon.”

By this time, we were both laughing. Every time we made a noise, the voice said, “Pardon.”

At least it was polite about its intrusion. And then suddenly, a live person was inside the car with us. “Hello, this is Onstar. How can we help you?”

I said, “I’m sorry. I’m in a rent-a-car and pushed the wrong button somehow. I have no idea how to turn it off.”

The woman said, “No problem. I’ll sign you off. Remember we’re here if you need us.”

And even if I didn’t, evidently. For the rest of the trip, I was afraid to touch the steering wheel.