Do you ever go to bed at night planning on getting up the next morning and taking a nap? Asking for a friend. (10/3/19)
I was recently reminded of my 8th-grade graduation. As part of the ceremony, my entire class stood up on the bleachers and sang “Joy to the World” — the “Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog” version. I recall practicing during rehearsals and thinking that the ceremony would likely be the most embarrassing moment of my life. And then at the last moment, my dad decided that weekend would be a good opportunity for a family vacation. I don’t think I ever thanked him. I wish I had. (5/20/19)
The cashier at Noodles got inordinately excited when I walked into the restaurant. She mistook me for a customer who talks with a pronounced English accent. I was sorry I had to disappoint her. If I was capable of pulling off even a remotely accurate facsimile, I would have. But alas! Within three or four words, any accent I attempt just sounds like Grover from Sesame Street. (3/15/19)
On long road trips, we sometimes pass the time by writing limericks about the towns we pass through. Here are a couple samples from our current trip.
There was a young lass from WaKeeney
Who decided to wear a bikini
The Kansas wind rose
And parts of her froze
Soon the bikini was no more to be seeny
This next one is based on an actual event.
There was a short girl from Checotah
Whose john cleaning skills we took note of
She wiped scum off the wall
High as she was tall
And considered that she’d done her quota (12/23/18)
You know how, with certain movies that you’ve seen again and again, you can start watching at any point and know exactly what’s happened and where you are in the story? Apparently that’s also true of any Hallmark Christmas movie whether you’ve seen it before or not. I watched three with my wife last night (after all, I’d watched two football games earlier). I am not making this up. In the first movie, the woman decided to stay in town after all, marry the guy, and buy her parents’ old house. In the second movie, the woman decided to stay in town after all, marry the guy, and buy an antique store. In the third movie, the woman decided to stay in town after all, marry the guy, and buy her grandmother’s old house AND a bookstore (exciting plot twist, that was, let me tell you). (11/23/18)