Fantastic Caverns

We’ve driven through Springfield, Missouri, many times. We’ve seen signs for Fantastic Caverns, “America’s ride-through cave” many times. And while we usually are willing to stand in line for quirky tourist attractions, this one seemed too cheesy even for us.

But we hadn’t seen anything during 2020 because the world shut down, and we (well … mostly me) were starving for cheese. As we approached Springfield from the north, we saw several dozen signs advertising the caverns, and since our route went right by it, we decided to stop. We never thought to ask about the price, so we were somewhat startled to discover it cost $28 each. We wandered about the gift shop/visitor center for about 15 minutes until our tour was called.

A young woman (properly masked) led us down a ramp and into a wagon of sorts that was hitched to a jeep. There were 12 people on our tour, plus the guide—us, a group of four women, and a family of six. We rode about 100 yards down a slope and turned under a ledge where a steel-framed doorway led us into the cave.

We soon saw a photographer standing on a rock, and our driver stopped so we could get a group photo. We were told we could take off our masks—those of us who were wearing them. I and the father of the family were not. The group of four ladies left theirs on, which makes the photo forever dateable (hopefully).

There was no reason why the tour had to be drive-through. It was considerably shorter than many cave hikes I’ve been on. That was just part of the gimmick. And we stopped approximately every 50 yards so our guide could get out and tell us about the history and geology of the cave. They were so desperate to increase the length of the tour that the guide gave us a lengthy demonstration of mining saltpeter for gunpowder during the Civil War—and then ended her spiel by explaining that troops had never entered the cave during the war and even if they had, there wasn’t enough bat guano to make gunpowder for one shot from a cannon. The demonstration took place in a part of the cave that once served as a speakeasy. Among the first explorers was a group of young women who signed their names on the wall.

Other than that, we got all the cave tour stuff—evolution, wildlife, discovery and early exploration, and, of course, a few moments in pitch blackness so we could see what it was like before electricity. The whole thing lasted less than an hour but again—we were so desperate for tourism fixes that we enjoyed ourselves.

Here are some random shots from our tour, most taken from cell phone video and lightened up considerably.

The tour route is shaped like an upside-down “Y.” There “road” passes on either side of a rock outcropping, seen in the next photo. On our way in and on our way back out, there was another tour group on the other side of the rock.

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